He is a way of dying without killing myselfA suicide that won’t be considered a sin

A pain that happens to be my favourite 

A ghost that torments me 

A voice that makes me crazy
My heart vibrates to the thought of him

Flash light of his eyes 

It’s like I know him

I feel like I know him

But I don’t know at least his name
He is a suicide that won’t hurt

That won’t tie me up the ceiling with shoe laces

A suicide that doesn’t know kills but actually does kill

A suicide that shouldn’t be 
He is a man I feel every girl would diefor 

I am in competition with women

Yet am just a girl
I have seen the woman he walks with

She is also in the line of our suicide

A death that is like a plaque

His beauty is poisonous

His potency is a drug
I would like to overdoes it 

And have my suicide
He is a shock

My body trembles to the idea of him

Unbeknownst of him hence already breaking my heart

Tearing it apart 

Into shreds with his god forsaken hands
Digging his fingers into me
What do you call a death that isn’t caused by a sickness

Because I know he is not my sickness

He is my obsession 

He is my dream
He is a suicide that won’t make people hate me

A suicide that isn’t self harming 

But my love for him is self harm

Yet who would see the cuts it causes

He is my suicide because I love him

But he doesn’t know it
It kills me involuntarily

I can’t fight it either 

Love shouldn’t kill

It should be bliss

But my love for him is suicide for me. 
Death equals peace.
By Samantha Alexia Ndlovu

8 thoughts on “suicide 

  1. Have you ever known someone who actually killed themselves?
    Have you ever known someone who was in a really unhealthy, life threatening relationship?

    Going by your title alone, it sounds like you are romanticizing a horrible, horrible thing.

    Liked by 1 person

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