Have you ever had that one person that you do everything for and get nothing in return? Nothing that makes you happy? Nothing that isn’t their responsibility just something as little as just an hour for yourself? 
Well the feeling is mutual. 
I always tell all my friends and families and I think I have mentioned it on this blog that to be happy you have got to be selfish. If there is anyone I have been selfish on these days or let me say 99% of my life; It’s me. 
I do everything to make people happy, I put my confidence, issues and my happiness at risk just to make people happy, just to see a smile on their faces, just to feel good that I have changed a bad day to a good day. It used to feel good. I mean, it should still feel good, but it doesn’t. 
People have the tendency to forget you are not a fish with eight or six hands (I don’t know the name of the fish I have in mind lol) they can’t accept that little good you do. Yes they will say thank you, or I am so happy you in my life, but are you happy they are in your life? 

Probably not and that’s because you are only giving them a hand but they want your entire arm, from your entire to half of you, from half of you to the whole of you and then at the end you realise you have lost yourself in means to make other people happy. 
I speak about happiness a lot because it is something I should have and that a lot of people think I have. But when I look at my life… If happiness comes from making some people happy? Then I am happy but if happiness is actually doing what makes me happy and doing it for myself; then I am simply unhappy. It’s hard to admit it to such a huge site but that is because this site has given me a piece of what happiness would be like. I read all your blogs and find a piece of myself in almost all of them only that I don’t have time to fulfil that piece. Instead, my time is taken astray by the people that I love and that have a pretty funny way of showing it. 
All I am saying is, becareful you don’t turn into me. A person who used to find happiness in making her family happy until she grew up and realised she wasn’t happy at all. 
If you have been doing what I have been doing, then please don’t be me. Be selfish. Today and now, confront the people that are affecting your happiness, tell them all that you hate because I know I don’t have the balls to do that but like the person that I am, i will feel grate if you do it for yourself. It will inspire me to grow bigger balls to confront the people that I love and tell them its enough. 

If you have been selfish on yourself, try being selfish to that loved one who wants to take all of you and leave you selfless. Get rid of him or her, leave him or her because you only have one life and it’s not well spent if you don’t have happy days or happiness. Do this for me, so you could inspire me to do the same without self incrimination, shame and self loathe. 
Be the person I am failing to be and be happy. That’s all that matters to me and to most people in the world. Just be happy.

3 thoughts on “Selfishness

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