Hey guys, so the movie trailer is out and a lot of people have been asking me what do I think. I am thinking I am going to watch it because fifty shades was actually the first erotic book that I read. I enjoyed it but as k went on reading other one. I realised it wasn’t all that. Hey I am not bashing it, I like that book; I just don’t really enjoy it as much as I did the first time.
Then I watched the film and I was literally like ‘what the honest fuck is this?!’ Casting was shit, the plot was shit, the script it was like they were being cut every second each of them spoke, some lines were just off and it didn’t have that flow. I went to cinemas to watch it, I fell asleep. I was as bored as Fuck.
And no offence to Jamie Donan’s fans but that’s not my Christian Grey. Like an aspiring director if I were to recast that film, my Christian grey would be Chris Hemsworth
Then it’s Anastasia’s friend (I forget her name all the time) that girl they cast in the film was an absolute no no. I mean as an aspiring actress myself, I would have nailed that part super good! But if I were to cast someone, despite the age; I would go for Leighton Meester.
With that gossip girl attitude, she would nail that part.
Then it’s that male friend, (I also forget him) who is the photographer or shit like that. I don’t know who that actor is, but that part wasn’t right for them, it just didn’t suit them at all, in my opinion it was like putting Ed Sheran to play HarryStyles. You get the memo, so if I were to recast it, it would be Robert Sheehan.
If I were to re-write it, would I add more sex scenes or add more content?
If I would re write that book I would nail it to the ground. I know English isn’t my first language but you should look at every plot like fucking. Give it some highs and ups, some mystery and excitement, change positions and twist it here and there, calm it down a bit then accelerate it a bit; then at last, you put some fire, ecstasy, an orgasmic ending, shock your audience leave them thinking ‘what the fuck just happened?’. That’s how I would write it. And mostly I would do my research! I don’t think a virgin can just become a submissive just like that. They have to learn just like everything else.
3: what about the story line, what’s my opinion on it?
Well, the storyline is just cliché. We are used to the Boss and the new girl or the Hot guy and the shy girl shit. But with fifty shades, I would find better mystery than the one in the book. I would give it a base and a storyline that won’t need the eroticism to sell it. For instance if I tell you a short cut of my erotic novel, ‘
When Sebastian meets Penelope for the first time he is instantly attracted to her. Which leads to him cheating on his wife. Hence more, his affair leads to him finding out Penelope is on revenge lane. She is hell-bent to kill Sebastian’s wife. With that Sebastian finds out Lilian isn’t exactly the woman he married. She was recruited to Mary him, and now that it’s five years, she is starting to bankrupt him. At the same time, for all five years Lilian was in a relationship with two women, she is a lesbian. Having have had his car shop bombed, his hotel bombed, money missing in his business accounts, and the worst part witnessing Lilian admitting to all that to be her fault, Sebastian’s kills her mother, brutally kill her father, and her girl friend. How is Sebastian a man who is angry he has lived a choreograghed life for all five years and an ex professional killer with an addiction to kill- going to deal with someone who has played him for five years and also someone that he still loves, while he is still having sex with Penelope?”
See, you hear little about the sex but more of the drams. Fifty shades lack a nice storyline, it’s just BDSM driven. So I would write a smashing one. (My imagination is always brutal and dramatic and mysterious).
Would I keep the sex relationship BDSM or just romantic?
Considering the book’s selling point is BDSM, I would have to keep it like that. But, if the book was mine I wouldn’t write a BDSM relationship because I don’t know anything about. I would write an absolute lie. What I know is, there is a Dom and Sub. The ins and the outs and the process and the dark side and all about it, it’s really unbeknownst to me. So I wouldn’t write it.