So I have been confused with my feelings lately. I don’t know if it’s emotional or just sexual but sometimes, I don’t get to know my sexuality.
First of all, I love men. In fact, I might be a bit confused about my sexuality, but I know I love men; that’s for sure. What I am not sure about is, why am I so attracted to women. Trust me, the attraction is real.
I don’t always look at a girl the same way. Should I blame it on my vast imagination or my erotic mind or… I just don’t know but I think I love women too. Do I want to love women too?
What can I say, eating a woman up is on my fantasy bucket list. Being in a relationship with one… I have not felt like that yet hence, looking at a good looking woman always makes me feel a certain way. Especially a naked woman. I even feel a bit like a weirdo sometimes cause some of my friends like doing sleep overs and they just strip in front of me. Latently I will be greatful I don’t have a dick because if I had, that man downstairs would be as hard as wood.
All I will be thinking is, what if I wanted to get it on with her and tell her maybe she might want to join me on a good erotic night but most of my friends are quite shy and they think I am a freak, so telling them I am itching to finger them and lick their pussy and suck their tits, our friendship would end. They would not look at me ever again. That’s why I don’t want to share a room with a girl when I go to uni cause if I do, God will have to help me or else I will eat their pussy dry.
Sometimes I look at a girl and think, that is a fine ass! I would be having this ache to touch them or something. I hate how perverted this feels but some girls are mouth watering.
So maybe I am capable of loving both men and women, I am best of both.
Would that be wrong? To me? No but to my family? Hell yes! Do I care? Probably not.
But then I am certain, I want to be in love with a man and get married and have babies with a guy.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Lol
Anyway what ever it is, it’s a part of me and I think I can live happy with it. It’s not like it’s a curse or anything.