Am I Heterosexual or homosexual or what…? 

So I have been confused with my feelings lately. I don’t know if it’s emotional or just sexual but sometimes, I don’t get to know my sexuality. 

First of all, I love men. In fact, I might be a bit confused about my sexuality, but I know I love men; that’s for sure. What I am not sure about is, why am I so attracted to women. Trust me, the attraction is real. 

I don’t always look at a girl the same way. Should  I blame it on my vast imagination or my erotic mind or… I just don’t know but I think I love women too. Do I want to love women too? 

What can I say, eating a woman up is on my fantasy bucket list. Being in a relationship with one… I have not felt like that yet hence, looking at a good looking woman always makes me feel a certain way. Especially a naked woman. I even feel a bit like a weirdo sometimes cause some of my friends like doing sleep overs and they just strip in front of me. Latently I will be greatful I don’t have a dick because if I had, that man downstairs would be as hard as wood. 

All I will be thinking is, what if I wanted to get it on with her and tell her maybe she might want to join me on a good erotic night but most of my friends are quite shy and they think I am a freak, so telling them I am itching to finger them and lick their pussy and suck their tits, our friendship would end. They would not look at me ever again. That’s why I don’t want to share a room with a girl when I go to uni cause if I do, God will have to help me or else I will eat their pussy dry. 

Sometimes I look at a girl and think, that is a fine ass! I would be having this ache to touch them or something. I hate how perverted this feels but some girls are mouth watering. 

So maybe I am capable of loving both men and women, I am best of both. 

Would that be wrong? To me? No but to my family? Hell yes! Do I care? Probably not. 

But then I am certain, I want to be in love with a man and get married and have babies with a guy

What the fuck is wrong with me? Lol 

Anyway what ever it is, it’s a part of me and I think I can live happy with it. It’s not like it’s a curse or anything. 

67 thoughts on “Am I Heterosexual or homosexual or what…? 

  1. I get how this is hard for you, but surely you have to try and stay true to you and what makes you tick. To me this sounds like a sexual fantasy thing. As for your friends its a shame you can’t talk to them about it. But if its meant to happen someone will come along.
    Living the way someone else wants won’t make you happy though eh? ☺
    You’re brave for putting this up… Deep respect to you Samantha ☺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Simon, it’s easy for people to misjudge me when I express myself and doing this was quite a challenge although this blog has showed me that it’s not a bad thing to feel this way. I also think it’s a sexual fantasy cause I know it’s not a “relationship” fantasy. I want everything in my life with a man but I also wish to experience certain experiences in life. Thank you for your support and understanding Simon. It means a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’ve always got my support and understanding. We all have to learn acceptance more and let people be who they need to be without feeling like they’re being judged. 🙂

        HOpe you’re well 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Who am I to dissuade anyone from finding women attractive, ha! Sexy girl, I find it VERY hot that you feel this way🔥The scenarios of you wrapped in the arms and legs of a woman has created some major “wood” here, ha! How would feel about inviting a woman into bed with you and your lover? You would then be able to play with a man and woman. Of course, you might not be comfortable with your man fucking another woman. Fun read to start to the day!🔥😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Michael, you always give me some visuals!! And I love it. As far as I am sure, I might or might not invite a woman to be with me and my man but we would try because I am an explorer. Lol

      Thank you for stopping by and your kind words 😊

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for commenting 😊 although the way you say it it’s like I have a problem or I am addicted to erotica. I wouldn’t say it’s a lie but I think I know what I feel and you are totally entitled to your opinion but what I feel is something I have felt even before I started reading or writing erotica. It’s not all about eroticism. Thank you for stopping by😊

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re welcome. I am sure you will find what you are really after as far as orientation is concerned. No. I’m sorry I came out that way, I’m sure you don’t have a problem, nor can I adequately describe your situation as no one knows him/herself as that person. I think next time I’ll refrain from commenting. No offence meant, hope none taken.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Sexuality can be fluid. I feel like some of us spend so much time trying to get to the heart of the matter because we desire to know – and that’s a curse because we fear the ability to just feel. Why not both? Who cares? Makes life interesting. There’s nothing wrong with you, you are above anything else an animal so these feelings are normal. Roll with the punches! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It does make life interesting to be open to exploring a lot more than just one thing that the society could define as natural. I think the society’s perceptions about what is right and what’s wrong are what make people fear to come out or fear being open.

      Thank you for your kind words


      1. Anytime. Discovering things about yourself is what life is all about, never stop trying to discover who you are. Without learning who we are we are nothing and won’t live upto what you want to do. Explore as much as you can before it’s too late it’s the key to having a happy life.
        Take it from me you don’t want to look back one day and wish you had done more.
        The main thing is be happy with who you are and to hell with what anyone else thinks

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw Miss Evie, I it’s exciting to hear you say I have made you drip so many times. The idea is tickling my libido. I think I would love the tease, imagining it already and it’s driving me crazy might even write about it. I think hunger for such eroticism is something interesting. Maybe that’s why my mind goes to all kind of places too 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Why do you you like commas so much?? Id say be who you are love who your heart loves, and fuck what others have to say about it especially if their commentary is negative. Be you.. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll fall in love with a masculine woman and have the best of both worlds. You can still have kids too!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. lol I didn’t realise until now 😂

      Thank you for your kind words, I love being myself and going with how I feel and I’m future I do wish to explore that part of me. Maybe that’s where my happiness lays

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lol I’d say just remain open to love and let it in when it comes. I think alot of people in the world miss out on love because of the taught beliefs. You don’t want to be one of those people.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for your kind words, I also don’t see a problem in it, it’s just something I never think about that much unless in an erotic sense cause who doesn’t love lesbian erotica,

        Liked by 1 person

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