Everytime ❤️

Everytime I look into your eyes, I feel like you handpicked me to suit your darkest insight, but you never really knew what I was like, you only witnesses a facade of what it’s like to love a woman like me. 

Everytime I am inside your arms, I feel like you handpicked me out of a million, only you didn’t know who I was like, I thought you will leave cause I tempted to leave, not because I hadn’t loved you yet, but because it didn’t feel right, because you only witness the smile I wear in day, and the lustrous mask I wear at night but then you reminded me, it wasn’t a facade it really was me.

Everytime I dance with you in the dark, I want you to be harder cause I am not so soft, Everytime you try to be kind I tell you I want you to be hard because I know love isn’t supposed to be easy, that’s why I don’t want you to be easy. 

Everytime I look into your eyes, I feel like you handpicked me effortlessly because I am transparent, you know I was the girl that suit your life, I love the sex you like and the fetish you love, I hate all the things that you hate, I laugh at same joke as you laugh to, I never cry because you hate to see me cry. 

Everytime I kiss you I feel like I will explode into a million diamonds because you make me shine brighter than the diamonds. 

Everytime you sleep I want you to know, you are my love and I belong to you. 

Everytime 

Discussion: two women? 

Here is a scenario. 

You recently met a girl and you are actually in a relationship. Let’s say her name is Melisa. So one day your girlfriends finds out that you have been seeing Mel and she doesn’t say anything and you don’t know that she knows about Mel. Then one day you are from work, or something, exhausted and all you need is your gf besides you, watching tv and just chilling basically. Then you go into your bedroom and find Mel and your girlfriend having sex. 

This is a real scenario, don’t think of it from a really sexual mindset, this is your wife and your sidechick having sex. 

What would you do? 

A naughty woman’s torment 

All four limbs were tied up at every corner of the bed. She had disappeared into the bathroom and he was becoming impatient and nonetheless turned on. She came out wearing her sexy lingerie, black lace thong and a matching bra accompanied by lace talkings and red stilettos. In her hand she held two glasses of wine and and a bucket of ice. She asked him if he was feeling hot and he grinned nodding his head, every inclination wishing he was able to pull her to his lips and kiss them like there is no next minute of life. 

She climbed up onto of him while a soft sexy song played at the background. She grind her hips on him her hands just a bit above his hard and erect manhood. She bit her lip caressing her hands all over her body throwing her head back making him wish he was able to touch her. Hell his hands were all itchy and wanting to feel her soft skin. He growled telling her how beautiful she was and how he would die to just touch her but she wasn’t going to let him. 

She leaned down her skin touching against his and she planted pepper kisses all over his chest, going up his neck while her finger nails softly caressed his arms tickling and awakening every cell of his body. “Fuck,” he breathed out and she captured his words into her mouth, kissing him breathless, her lips her tongue were all commandeering, letting him know that he was hers. He yanked his arms from the cuffs involuntarily as electricity pulses through his veins triggering him. He was used to be the hegemonic man of the house and he wasn’t used to letting his guard down, he was used to have her obedient and assuming the position with a strong hand. 

She grabbed the glass of wine and sat just above his abdomen. “Open your mouth” she told him and he didn’t take two more seconds, he was ready to recieve from her. She sipped the wine and leaned over to pour it into his mouth and he drank from her. “Good boy” she grinned lasciviously while her eyes leered in his, she poured  the blood red wine on his belly button and letting it slide down his chest, cold and chilling. She shuffled back; her ass was in the air and her mouth was licking the wine from his skin. He could run crazy already. She was ignoring his election as though it didn’t exist. She was playing with him, taking time because they had all the time in the world. She drank up again and when he opened his mouth this time she dived in with a kiss, the wine tasting in his mouth and also spilling all over him. But they kissed until the taste of the wine was gone and they could taste each other. She moaned, her heart swelled. Even if she was trying to be domineering to him, she was irrevocably in love with him. Words and actions felt too little to explain how much she was in love with him. 

She kissed him commencing from his mouth down his neck and down to his manhood. It stood tall and hungry. She caressed her finger like a feather against it and it pulsed. He was too intoxicated and very sensitive. She had taken her time and played around with him and he had had a hard on since he’d come home. She leaned down, had it close to her mouth but she simply breathed in his scent, taking him into her and that made him crazy. Her love for him was wordless but worthy. Her lips were like a feather close to touching his thin skin but also a bit away. Her warm breath was brushing across his man hood, her eyes were closed and she moved about it, just breathing his scent in. 

She grabbed the ice from the bucket of ice and put in her mouth her eyes gleaming with latent desires. She then leaned down to his thigh and ran the ice on his skin slowly with her mouth and when she got to his groin it had melted. So she grabbed another and this time, she placed her cold lips on his shaft and hastily replaced them with ice, he grunted out loud, there was a searing pain and pleasure as his shaft was turgid and painfully hard. The ice was painful but nice too, he was heaving and humming. She moved around his shaft in shapes and patterns. She took her time and tomented him heartlessly. Keeping the little ice in her mouth she held him tight with her hand and sheathed him into her mouth his bulbous sensitive head hitting on the ice in her mouth, he bellowed with pleasure and pain yet again and surprisingly he felt himself release his first shot of essence. She grinned while he was still in her mouth. 

He was becoming breathless, her torment was one he hadn’t prepared for and it had him crazy and constantly erect. She schelped him out of her mouth and swallowed his first shot. Then she went back and licked all of him before putting him back into her mouth and sucking him hard that he had his eyes rolling back. She was slurping, licking and sucking until he climaxed yet again. It was violent and knocking him weak. Then she didn’t waste time she climbed up and sheathed him inside her warmth in one take and he was back alive yet again. 

Leaving him inside she unlocked his wrists from the headboard and he immediately held her. He had craved that almost all night and she rode him with his hands touching her, and when her orgasm tore her onto shreds he was there to put her back together.  

I own it 

It would be a green ugly lie if I said I always live in reality 

My head is world of gold and fortune 

Sleek and fine 

Haters ashes, scattered in hell

My ashes are diamonds

Pose bitch 

~

I dance

Barely dressed 

My body is a gracious vessel

A fountain of youth 

Bathing in this liquid gold 

My melanin popping

My highlight gold and brighter than your future 

I am owning it 

~

I like giving you something to talk about 

A hegemonic figure of life 

I own every shit I have 

You own that malice, what do you have? 

~

My eyes lascivious 

He said they pierce through his soul, 

My lips thick 

He says they are juicy, 

Cause I am damn owning it 

Own it bitch 

~

Remind haters you the shit, 

The damn queen of your life

Let them play extras

And you be the lead role

My face on everything 

I’ll be your kid’s idol 

Your brother’s crush

Your boyfriend’s fantasy 

Bitch, I am owning it. 

~

All of that glam 

Bad and boujie 

Own it 

Choosing life

You are a barrier between life and life 

I don’t know what to choose cause you are still life 

But it’s different kinds of life 

I want that life as much as I want this life 

But i don’t know which one is good for me. 

Would you elucidate please

Show me the life you provide 

Doomed 

I fell into your arms

You received me in an golden envelope 

Never opened me because I had already glistened you

You allowed me in 

The star that shines up on the sky 

I tapped into your flaws 

You dimmed

Unleashed a different shade of beauty 

Dark and secret 

My breath hollowed 

 I knew I was doomed

But I was actually really doomed 

The best thing was as incessant as you were 

Ready to reap myself out of the golden envelope

My golden glow flickered 

One two three 

Then dim and dark

 I was doomed 

Doomed Because I knew I had finally found my other imperfectly perfect half. 

A naughty woman: music of her thoughts 

She was on a train, commuting from work to her home in which it was a 45 minute ride and normally she would have a novel to entertain herself or She would have downloaded a film from Netflix. In fact she was obsessed with the TV show, the client list but that day she had nothing to do. So she plugged in her earphones and like commonly, her songs always had a pinch of sexuality in them. 
She was an erotic woman with dark intentions and interests when it came to her sexuality and recently she’d met a man, from work. He was kind, his demeanour was smart, intelligent but he wore no suit. In fact he was a man that worked outside a lot, a construction worker he was. He had came around a couple of time and he had never came to her work wearing smart nice and clean clothes. He always wore his work clothes, with mud and paint on them. His skin was almost a tan due to the sun and his arms looked manly, very veiny and strong. 

It was a first for her to be entranced at such measure especially with a man in muddy clothes. That day as she sat in the trained she recalled her day with him. He’d came round drenched, the weather had been shit – raining and windy. His shirt was pressing on his skin. Something about the wetness conjured a lot of imagery. Besides, his body was a masterpieces carved by a god of perfection, his smile – his teeth – fine and unreal but mostly his eyes and his lips, – she bit her lips – if she ever tasted those lips, if she ever laced hers with his, soft and gentle, rough and sexy; she would ride the crazy train to heaven. 

Then the song played. Dance for you by Beyoncé. She thought about him sat on a small couch with his arms resting on both arms of the sofa, his legs relaxed and lean. She imagined him leering at her with his dark blue eyes, so intense they burned am indelible imprint in her heart. She would be in a lingerie piece, a red one. Sexy with a similar bra supporting her huge tits. A red lipstick on her thick lips, her curly hair loose and wavy down her shoulders, black lace clip on stalkings and red long heeled stilletos. 

She would stand, see him bite on his lip with that sexy smirk playing in his lips, his fingers gripping on the arms of the sofa, digging deep as though playing in her soul. 

Her hips sway with the song, her hands on her body, caressing and loving. Hips sway, she moved with the song, getting down spreading her legs, gentle and romantic, dancing for him. Hips sway, biting on her lip, licking her fingers sensually, tracing them down her body, her eyes never strayed from his. He was bothered and wanting. Her hips sway, she moaned he groaned, she danced. 

The song morphs to Fuck you all the time by Jerimiah. She forgot she was on a train, all she knew was the song made her feel herself crawl on her knees to him. Kissing him, finally her lips laced with his. Her breath, her breath became a mist, so light and so weak to obtain but she would not let those lips go. Her hips grind on him, feeling his shaft harder between her legs. His lips on her neck, his breath a warm sweet lather tantalising and caressing like a feathers of a bird fleeting down her skin. His hands, rough from cement but the roughness somehow tomenting and spelling his power, his manliness and his desire. Sexually invigorating.

The song morphed into another, papi pacify by FKA twigs. The train could have passed her stop, she didn’t even remember she was on a train. The song propelled her onto her knees, her hands unbuckled his belt, pushed down his pants down and the man sprung free, red and turgid, taking her breath away. He was well endowed, precious – she salivated. Her fingers touched, caressed down his shaft. He pulled his head back humming. Her mouth covered him. Pleased him, the song played on the back ground, her mouth moved with it. His hips moved with it, his fingers tighter grasped with it. 

Then the song morphed to I can go deep a classic by silk. He flipped her, turned her and made her lie on the sofa with her legs wide open. He removed her clothes and when she attempted to push her heels off he stopped her and smacked her ass. 

“I want to Fuck you in them heels and don’t you dare take them off or else…” 

The song stopped and when she opened her eyes the train was just arriving on her stop. Only she knew the wetness that drenched her pants. She had to get home. 

Very soon. 

Love is possible.

Today was pretty much no different to any day, I just had to deal with the financial crisis and fixing my uni applications and all trying to revise for exams. Also my acne treatment has the side effects of mood swings and tiredness, all kinds of shit really and it makes me miserable but I am an optimist. I try to look on the positive side but today I wasn’t. The treatment was kind of overwhelming besides, I have put on so much weight I can’t even look at my own reflection on the mirror (probably the treatment talking)  and I am stressing out and today I was ready and kicking to go back to gym then I forgot my bus pass and it all went down shit basically. 

So it’s been pretty shite if I am being honest. But one thing I noticed, I am the kind of a person who reads the future from almost anything. Some of it has actually worked for instance, when I went to London for an audition, all the way to the train station every traffic light went red, in my mind I had the incessant feeling that it wasn’t going to go well. Then while in the train, somebody became sick, to me it illustrates that my journey won’t be good and guess what, it didn’t go well. I am using this example cause I feel like you will understand it more. 

So since my day was basically a perfect definition of a shit day, in a shit mood and shit clothes (fashion means a lot to me) I have seen two different kinds of love. In a way, it’s a promise that I will find what I am looking for. Love, life, happiness and traveling. 

One lesson is, love isn’t about the looks. It has always occurred to me that I will not find a person who will love me because of my looks. I am a plus girl battling with weight issues despite my confidence and at times I think no one will love me. Very little times though.

Today after college I was in the bus and I saw two teenagers, they are probably younger than me (I will be twenty in two weeks 💥) they were standing in each ither’s arms. (I am a bit of a flaneur)  They were obviously in their own world, they were talking and kissing each other. In all, nothing was perfect about these kids, the guy had the long hair, the girl was in all black almost like the metal rock band singers but what was perfect was the way I felt their sense of love and affection. It was beautiful but it passed my mind because I had a lot in my mind. 

Then in town I saw another pair of lovers yet again. This one actually made me smile in public (so rare for me to smile in public. I have a straight don’t fuck with me face). Something blissful swelled in my heart. They were both putrid, in dirty tracksuits and the ripped and dirty hair – showing they live scarcely and perhaps sleep under the bridges. They were arguing, shouting all kinds of expletives at each other. I turned down the volume of my music and heard them say some deep shit at each other. Cursing super strong I was almost shocked. Then the man cursed and walked the other way and the woman also murmured profanities while walking away. It reminded me of the times my mom and the wife beater she was married to, they fought like this Everytime but even if they argued, I never sensed love like it did between these two. And they didn’t prove my speculation or sense of love wrong. The man hastily walked back to her and yanked her hand in almost a very forceful manner, when she argued with him he caught her words with his lips onto hers. It wasn’t just a quick kiss. They kissed in the middle of the road, no care that the car would come and hit them, no care that the sun is scorching today, no care that people are probably judging them, all they cared about in that moment was each other. 
I bet people thought I was insane as I watched them with a big toothy smile. It was a super sensational sight. So beautiful I can’t wipe it away. These people have nothing. Nothing. Their clothes look like they are all they have, dusty and all kinds of dirty. But their love… I just… I am lost for words. I can’t describe it because maybe you would understand it if you watched them with me. From the way they cursed at each other you would imagine them walking away from each other and never looking back but damn, that kind of free love, no cost, no care for anything but each other is the kind of love I love. It was obvious they were all they had and really, I could fan-girl about their love through out all day. 

I love love. I love the sight of love and seeing such examples of love makes me… I don’t know… crave it a little more? Believe that love is actually possible and I am not just crazy? That maybe I am not naive? I just don’t know but like a person who reads from what happens around her, I feel like not so long I will have what I want. It’s possible. Love is possible. No matter what the circumstances are. Love is possible and at no cost. No money or wealth or perfect body or perfect face or perfect financial life or perfect anything, love is possible. Love will come to me and damn I will be happy. 

Let’s have a laugh 😂 

The internet has no chill man 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 

Discussion: virgins 

So like I have said before, when thinking of what pleases men, we think it’s playing with their bodies let them inside us and then they are pleased but due to my understanding; men are just as complicated as women are. That’s why I am starting this series of discussions so that I can understand more and also help others. I also demand brutal honesty, in this and also respect. Also if you do not agree with someone’s opinion, do remember -it’s their opinion and be respectful even if you feel like commenting on it.

 I have been contacted by some virgins both male and female, both of their worries are that women and men avoid them due to no experience. In my culture if a woman is a virgin a man normally treasures her as it shows that she respects herself but that said; it doesn’t mean every man could look at a virgin in this way. Also in my culture women always crave a much older and experienced man as they are said to be more profound and caring. In fact; my grandma taught/told me, I would experience more with an older man and they will care for me and respect me more. I can’t say I know or I have experienced such with a man because I have not been with a man older than me. 

So the question for this week’s discussion is: 

Do men like virgins? And what is their opinion about them? Please be brutally honest because this discussion will be useless if people aren’t honest. After all you are free to voice your opinions.