Letters to a man I know I have loved 1

This is one of the most person things you will read about me and it’s dedicated to Colin cause we kind of have this in common 😊 Check out his blog it’s pretty cool 

Dear A

It’s one thing having an undefeatable physical connection. It’s one thing having an amazing psychological connection and it’s another to have an emotional, physical, psychological and soulful connection. I might be naive but why would that be wrong? It’s something I won’t change in a second but I can stand tall and say it, we had that connection. The special connection, the stupid finishing each other’s sentences thing, the similar mindset sometimes I thought you were in my head. I certainly wasn’t dillusional, words were always at the tip of your tongue, all over you face, all over you. Sometimes you’d even stammer and I would be confused what it is that you are on about but I also like it because it’s so cool and so sweet. You look vulnerable and not in a state of weakness, you look contently vulnerable. I have no better adjective for it. All I say is I do hope to see you because like I said, I am the coldest person and of course you don’t know that but I don’t normally feel just like I don’t feel like being with anyone now and I am putting the blame on you because you are available to blame hence absent to love. I don’t blame you. I knew it was probable to be just an impossibility. It’s okay. If it was meant to be maybe I would be telling a different story. I would be lying if I say I am going to forget you. That lie would be coated with honey just to deceive myself but I can at least assure you (and myself) that in three years time you will be just another past hence one that I will never ever look at like a moment meant to pass but one to remember, reminisce and tempt to feel again. 

You don’t make me feel like an ordinary person because even an extra ordinary person would not be able to identify or explain how I felt when you were around. Words would only belittle the moment. It felt like if I ever had the chance to be embraced in your arms I would be the happiest girl alive and every single dream of mine would come true, including being loved by you. 

Like I said, words always seemed to be at the tip of your tongue and I wanted you to say them, tell me and I swear to you, nothing else would matter. The age difference would be just an obstacle that I am yet to destroy, that silver ring on your finger would have been just an accessory that you wore and that I cared less about. Which is one of my traits, I am selfish and I care about what I want and rarely about what other people want. Hence with you, I was ready to even care about the littlest things for instance when you couldn’t find your keys, I kept my cool but inside I was shitting myself sideways, and the relief I felt when you found them was beyond feeling. 
I am writing this to you because I am coercing every part of me to let you go. Like I  said, you are an impossibility and my patience is barely there to things I know have a possibility to come true but what more about you, one who will never ever be mine. 

You know I know I will no longer be working at that shop and probably that would be the last time I ever have means to see you. You haven’t even been to the shop since March maybe but every single day I get out of the house I hope to see you because I do miss you. I sometimes make up scenarios where one day I would just bump into you – even in the future – and maybe that you be the start of something. I am also writing this because with so much affection or whatever this is that I feel for you, it is dangerous because once I see you I feel like I can do anything and that would most likely hurt me and other people because it’s not just anything that I would do, it’s anything that makes you happy and that is too dangerous than a gun pointed at my heart but it doesn’t mean that if you came and asked me out I wouldn’t say yes. I can’t even imagine myself saying no to you because I have no reason to. You feel good enough for me, nothing I ever wanted in a man yet everything I will ever want only I didn’t know I actually wanted that. 

You are smart, innovative and so handsome. But I have to let go so that I can go on with my life. I know this is just a first step to actually moving on because tomorrow when I go to work ever part of me will be praying to god that you just appear and make me extremely happy again. 

It’s one thing having a physical connection with someone. It’s one thing to have a psychological connection, it’s another to have a strong emotional connection but it’s serendipitous to have a combination of all these connections along with a soulful one. I like you. A lot. But goodbye. If I could use an eraser to erase you I could but I know I wouldn’t be able to because even now I can’t even finish this because I can’t let go. I just can’t. It sucks and it makes me feel weak and pathetic but I don’t care. I like you. A million times lot.

Goodnight

A naughty woman gets spanked and fucked p2

Most of the times Harvey is a very loving man. Gentle and caring – in fact it is the main reason why she fell in love with him hence that said it didn’t drive her crazy. Not as crazy as the feeling of him posses her, glide into her, hard but carefully stretching her tight little hole. The confusion of whether she liked the pain or the pleasure had her head almost spiralling. Her ass cheeks burned etching his five fingers on it. With every movement, every passing inch she almost died, not because of the wrath of pain that brimmed in and out of her ass but because of the overwhelming pleasure that followed up after that. The welt met with her ass yet again she arched her back, he pulled out his finger and worked her. In and out, humping like she was a matter of life and death. 

Her legs trembled, her knees attempted to buckle. He was close to his climax but he didn’t want to have his end without her having one. So he slid out and and turned her so her back was on the bed. Her face was glowing, eyes flaming with lust, her lips red and wanton. He leaned up to her and put her hands over her head and kissed her lustrously, licking and biting her lips. He trailed his way down to her tits with kisses and light bites. He enveloped the pierced nipple onto his mouth and sucked on it hard that she felt like her nipple was getting pierced all over again but nonetheless it shot bullets of arousal in her system. She knew if he touched her down there this time, she was climaxing and she was not just climaxing she was basically going to combust. 
His tongue flickered on the numb bead. Licked and kissed. Then he slid down and pushed her legs wide open her knees were almost touching on her shoulders. He rubs her pussy hastily just above the clit and she was going hella crazy. When she was just about to orgasm her body was shook by the welt meeting with her pussy, delaying the explosion. He ran his tongue across her slit, she raised her hips pressing her pussy against his mouth. He flicked his tongue on her clit and this time, she was going to lose it. Even when he lightly patted her pussy she felt the storm coming and when he inserted his fingers in there along with his mouth on her pussy Ravishing her clit, she climaxed, her teeth gnashed together her body pulsed into a rigid ice that pulsated. Her eyes were blinded, stars maybe but she didn’t know because her brains also stilled. Her world stopped and the universe reminded her Harvey was the only man that conquered all odds with loving her. She could feel his that fingers hadn’t stopped and they were hasty but her body was shook by the waves of pleasure that when her body melted from the shock of the orgasm she still pulsated, her body trembled, she felt like there was a whole river of an orgasm and it kept pouring and pouring nonstop.

After he’d had his end she was strengthless and could barely keep her eyes open. Her joints felt like melted cheese. Her body felt like she had been sprinting for the right three hours.  He went into the bathroom to clean himself up before he ran the shower and carried her to the bathroom, washed his wife and put her to bed. 

He had done something like this before but this time it was astronomical because he was irrevocably in love with her. 

Can you believe I write this at work while trying to avoid looking aroused and serving customers with a smile or a straight face so I can conceal the image of how hot this story has been?  Well I have been busy. I hope you enjoy 

I miss him

Like a brand new shoe 

I miss the owner I have never had 

The sight of him is a sweet mixture of endearment and pain

Never been completely entwined in the coitus strings of life with a man 

With him 

But I miss him 

~

Strangely, like a night sky missing the sun

An impossibility I hinder 

Someone I have never had hence his absence is a dagger twisting inside me 

I might, I might not be adored by this man 

But I miss him. 

Like an overflowing river missing the presence of water 

Like a road missing brand new cars 

A sky needing clouds 

Clouds that cry due to missing him 

I really miss him

Like a desert without trees 

Time that’s never lasted a minute 

The five minutes that feel like ecstasy 

A drug I didn’t know I needed. 

I loathe this feeling 

Missing something I have never had 

Makes me feel pathetic 

Like a snail 

Hopeless like ants 

No matter how much I hate it 

I miss him so much 

There is a happiness that blossoms like the flowers every time I see him. Abundant amounts of happiness, overwhelming feelings, needs and wants all clear away the words and I would mumble and bubble like I have trouble speaking. He gets charming, I squirm. Ought to ask some more questions about him, want to tell him how my day was, what I did, my achievements and more. It all becomes too much, too much I can’t control it sometimes. Then I will regret at his departure as I know I couldn’t ask at least a question. Then questions replace the happiness, why does he blink and talk like that. Smile like that, look into my eyes like that, look as good as that? 
Am I crazy? 
Anyway, sorry I have been absent lately, I have auditions and exams and course work and work and loads of many other things lol. But I will try to update as much. 

My happiness 

It’s incredible, how you feel so happy when you lay your eyes on that one person who is perhaps unaware of how much you desire them. It took me by shock and for a second I couldn’t breath. He’d finally came around after such a long time and funny enough I had missed him badly. So so so bad. 

How the heck do you miss someone you know little about? It’s funny that isn’t it? 

I had it all in my head, all I wanted to say to him. I had planned it out and inside I’d told myself I was ready to talk more with him. In which every time he comes around we talk about almost a lot but today I was too astounded, too happy. The kind of happiness that turned all my thoughts into shining stars and for those minutes I was blinded and floating in cloud nine, happy as Fuck. 

I could hear him talking about his new place and his motorbike and all but it wasn’t reaching my mind. It’s not like I wasn’t listening, God I would listen to him everyday but all I enjoyed was seeing him there. His presence, oh my God, it’s just so good and fantastic and just seeing him… I swear no absolute word can describe the feeling. 

Happy isn’t the word either, it’s too minimal to express how I feel. It’s been a long time since I have felt this way about him but I haven’t really got the gut to tell him. I am fearful, mostly of rejection, disappointment and embarrassment. But funny enough I like him and despite that since he moved away, he stays for weeks and weeks without stopping by at work and during those weeks I would be supposed to find them as a way I can stop thinking about him but that’s just impossible. The guy is in my Fucking mind every second like an unsolvable problem. In which, sometimes all these feelings feel like unsolvable problems.

Then today he came. 

I didn’t expect him. I mean, I knew he normally came around on Fridays but so many Fridays had passed and I really didn’t expect him. I had so much I wanted to say. So much I wanted to know; just so much that it overwhelmed me and I was all nervous and bubbly and busy embarrassing myself lol. I bet he noticed that I was a bit too… weird. 

Maybe he knows I like him and he is just messing about with me. With the way he looks at me sometimes and how he talks to me sometimes and some gestures he make sometimes, it leave me thinking maybe he knows I like but he just isn’t sure or something. I don’t know, man. It’s just too complicated.

However, I feel grateful that I saw him today. Happy days are really little in my life and every time I see him, I feel so happy that my entire body would be trembling with absolute delight, happiness and trust me as talkative as I am, words run astray when I see him. All I would be wanting is to just admire him, hear about his day, what he likes, his aspirations or maybe silly jokes or maybe just chill, you know. 

Then sometimes I think he has no idea that I like him. Maybe he would be at his home having no idea how much I would like to spend some time with him. Maybe he thinks I am as weird as fuck. 

He aided into making my day a wonderful day. I’d got paid, received an audition, and most of all he completed my day, I saw him. Him that smashing handsome bustard. 

Absolute happiness right then. 

I wish to be happy and having little tastes of it could make me a bit hopeless. There are things that could possibly hinder an opportunity for us. So many. So so many.  It’s stressful sometimes but nonetheless, I saw him once again.

Currently, if there is anyone who makes me happy, it’s him. Just for those five minutes, he completes me. 

I wish he knows that. 

And I wish where ever or whatever he could be doing right now, I hope somehow he gets the feeling that he made someone extremely happy today. 

And mostly, I wish he comes again next Friday.

This is not my usual post lol but I had to share how I feel because I never do really haha. I am so closed off sometimes and that really wrecks me up sometimes. As a talker and some friendly weirdo that I am, you wouldn’t think I am so concealed within myself. You would think I speak out. Well I don’t. I let it kill me. I bleed it all in my books and leave a bloodless salted scar inside me. I feel like shit these days, man and seeing him just… it just washed all that away. Anyway let me not depress you too haha. 

(Jamie Donan isnt really one of my fav or least actors but the guy I am on about almost looks like him. Just a tiny bit,) 

Thanks for reading and good night 😘

Getting over you 

I ought to forget you 

Shut you out of my mind 

And so as my imagination 

I ought to count you amongst the normal 

I ought to stop caring 

Listening to your stories 

Your tales about your mystic life 
I ought to not smile so wide like I do when I see you

I want to behave normal 

Wear my straight face like a channel dress 

Steady my body 

Calm down my libido 

Be a normal person when I see you 
I ought to tell myself you are just another man I don’t give two shits about,

Lie to myself about my dislike for you, 

Shut my eyes to your misleading and heart tickling flirtations, 

But the you will walk in

With your fucking grace.

I will squirm 

All my insides will melt into liquid 

My libido will get so high on another level 

My smile, I only smile like that for you 

You always walk in with this light 

A light that I can’t seem to get used to 

It washes away all the things I told myself do to. 

I guess I am just not a normal person then, 

All I want is to get over you 

At the same time 

I don’t want to get over you because I enjoy your presence 

But I do

I ought to forget you.

“A beautiful smile”

Hey guys so yesterday something special happened to me. I know it might seem like it’s the simplest thing that some girls have heard a lot of times but I am not some girl. I am Samantha the girl with a shy smile that is always considered cute. A girl who always suffer with a bit of low esteem and confidence. A girl who gains her confidence through writing erotica (wierd) I am just a simple girl and as much as I write all this sexiness, love and beauty; most of it is part of a fantasy, my wild dreams. 
There is this guy that I like from work, he is way older than me but I am mad attracted to him, like so attracted every time I see him I feel my insides melt. We always have a little talk and he is always so nice to me and I don’t know why but I am super attracted to him. And yesterday he came in to work, and it had been a long time since he came. 
He said he’d moved from the place near my work to far away but he came in cause he wanted to see me and my beautiful smile. Simple as that but you have no idea how that made my day. I couldn’t even stop smiling and I had no words to reply to him apart from saying that was so sweet. Because as hard as it is to believe it… He is the first person that I like to tell me I have a beautiful smile. It’s something that’s really rare to me. 
So I was so happy and I didn’t know what to say. It’s just felt… Incredibly good to know someone considered me beautiful , I battle to believe that everyday of my life. 
So I thought I would just share guys that sometimes some simplest things make a difference and they are the sweetest. That’s why we should appreciate every simple thing. It’s worthy. 
I like him for that!