SPRITE 

In life we take every second, minute and every hour almost for granted. That is why we never see it coming and why we can never predict it because any hour could be the last. Any hour could be the first and it always passes. Some people celebrate Christmas, birthdays and so on but Nelly Josephs and John Josephs had learned the art of celebrating every passing second. After surviving death at the brutal car accident, Mr Joseph had the sudden realisation of the meaning of life and the love he had for his wife. Now she was 80 years old battling cancer. Mr Josephs gave her her medication and she asked him to lay by her side.  “John, do you remember how we first met?” She asked, every word echoes a promise of death. It broke Mr Josephs because he knew at any time he would lose her. “Oh darling don’t you remind me, I was a clumsy little boy” he laughed; or at least forced enjoyment to fill his cry. “I had just came from playing netball. Had lost with one goal. I was angry, so angry I could barely breath and then out of nowhere cold Sprite splashes all over my face and my chest.” She chuckled her chest wheezy like she had too much air in her lungs. 

“You looked at me like I had stolen your candy and I was about to have my face smacked” 

“I did smack you, right here” she says caressing his face. 

“I always considered it our first kiss because it was the moment I looked into your eyes and I knew I had fallen in love even if I didn’t know what love was” he said looking into her eyes remembering the day 72 years ago. They were only eight when that happened. 

“I don’t even know why I had a bottle of sprite in my hand. My mother never allowed me to drink fizzy” he laughed gently while not moving his eyes from hers. 

“It was because God had destined it for us.” She smiled. They cuddled together for a few more hours into the night and then Nelly asked for a glass of sprite. John went to get it and she sat up and they both clicked glasses and drank up. Since the age of eight and the beginning of their love, they always celebrated with a bottle of sprite instead of wine. So when he felt it in the middle of the night, felt her life leave her body. He kissed her cold skin and a tear fell. Despite that he had told himself that every hour was the last with his wife, when it happened it hurt but he wiped away the tears as his wife had made him promised that if the hour came, he would not cry. Instead, he should get a bottle of Sprite and have a drink. Celebrate every hour they spent together. And so they had celebrated their last hour.

Letters to a man I know I have loved 1

This is one of the most person things you will read about me and it’s dedicated to Colin cause we kind of have this in common 😊 Check out his blog it’s pretty cool 

Dear A

It’s one thing having an undefeatable physical connection. It’s one thing having an amazing psychological connection and it’s another to have an emotional, physical, psychological and soulful connection. I might be naive but why would that be wrong? It’s something I won’t change in a second but I can stand tall and say it, we had that connection. The special connection, the stupid finishing each other’s sentences thing, the similar mindset sometimes I thought you were in my head. I certainly wasn’t dillusional, words were always at the tip of your tongue, all over you face, all over you. Sometimes you’d even stammer and I would be confused what it is that you are on about but I also like it because it’s so cool and so sweet. You look vulnerable and not in a state of weakness, you look contently vulnerable. I have no better adjective for it. All I say is I do hope to see you because like I said, I am the coldest person and of course you don’t know that but I don’t normally feel just like I don’t feel like being with anyone now and I am putting the blame on you because you are available to blame hence absent to love. I don’t blame you. I knew it was probable to be just an impossibility. It’s okay. If it was meant to be maybe I would be telling a different story. I would be lying if I say I am going to forget you. That lie would be coated with honey just to deceive myself but I can at least assure you (and myself) that in three years time you will be just another past hence one that I will never ever look at like a moment meant to pass but one to remember, reminisce and tempt to feel again. 

You don’t make me feel like an ordinary person because even an extra ordinary person would not be able to identify or explain how I felt when you were around. Words would only belittle the moment. It felt like if I ever had the chance to be embraced in your arms I would be the happiest girl alive and every single dream of mine would come true, including being loved by you. 

Like I said, words always seemed to be at the tip of your tongue and I wanted you to say them, tell me and I swear to you, nothing else would matter. The age difference would be just an obstacle that I am yet to destroy, that silver ring on your finger would have been just an accessory that you wore and that I cared less about. Which is one of my traits, I am selfish and I care about what I want and rarely about what other people want. Hence with you, I was ready to even care about the littlest things for instance when you couldn’t find your keys, I kept my cool but inside I was shitting myself sideways, and the relief I felt when you found them was beyond feeling. 
I am writing this to you because I am coercing every part of me to let you go. Like I  said, you are an impossibility and my patience is barely there to things I know have a possibility to come true but what more about you, one who will never ever be mine. 

You know I know I will no longer be working at that shop and probably that would be the last time I ever have means to see you. You haven’t even been to the shop since March maybe but every single day I get out of the house I hope to see you because I do miss you. I sometimes make up scenarios where one day I would just bump into you – even in the future – and maybe that you be the start of something. I am also writing this because with so much affection or whatever this is that I feel for you, it is dangerous because once I see you I feel like I can do anything and that would most likely hurt me and other people because it’s not just anything that I would do, it’s anything that makes you happy and that is too dangerous than a gun pointed at my heart but it doesn’t mean that if you came and asked me out I wouldn’t say yes. I can’t even imagine myself saying no to you because I have no reason to. You feel good enough for me, nothing I ever wanted in a man yet everything I will ever want only I didn’t know I actually wanted that. 

You are smart, innovative and so handsome. But I have to let go so that I can go on with my life. I know this is just a first step to actually moving on because tomorrow when I go to work ever part of me will be praying to god that you just appear and make me extremely happy again. 

It’s one thing having a physical connection with someone. It’s one thing to have a psychological connection, it’s another to have a strong emotional connection but it’s serendipitous to have a combination of all these connections along with a soulful one. I like you. A lot. But goodbye. If I could use an eraser to erase you I could but I know I wouldn’t be able to because even now I can’t even finish this because I can’t let go. I just can’t. It sucks and it makes me feel weak and pathetic but I don’t care. I like you. A million times lot.

Goodnight

A naughty woman gets spanked and fucked p2

Most of the times Harvey is a very loving man. Gentle and caring – in fact it is the main reason why she fell in love with him hence that said it didn’t drive her crazy. Not as crazy as the feeling of him posses her, glide into her, hard but carefully stretching her tight little hole. The confusion of whether she liked the pain or the pleasure had her head almost spiralling. Her ass cheeks burned etching his five fingers on it. With every movement, every passing inch she almost died, not because of the wrath of pain that brimmed in and out of her ass but because of the overwhelming pleasure that followed up after that. The welt met with her ass yet again she arched her back, he pulled out his finger and worked her. In and out, humping like she was a matter of life and death. 

Her legs trembled, her knees attempted to buckle. He was close to his climax but he didn’t want to have his end without her having one. So he slid out and and turned her so her back was on the bed. Her face was glowing, eyes flaming with lust, her lips red and wanton. He leaned up to her and put her hands over her head and kissed her lustrously, licking and biting her lips. He trailed his way down to her tits with kisses and light bites. He enveloped the pierced nipple onto his mouth and sucked on it hard that she felt like her nipple was getting pierced all over again but nonetheless it shot bullets of arousal in her system. She knew if he touched her down there this time, she was climaxing and she was not just climaxing she was basically going to combust. 
His tongue flickered on the numb bead. Licked and kissed. Then he slid down and pushed her legs wide open her knees were almost touching on her shoulders. He rubs her pussy hastily just above the clit and she was going hella crazy. When she was just about to orgasm her body was shook by the welt meeting with her pussy, delaying the explosion. He ran his tongue across her slit, she raised her hips pressing her pussy against his mouth. He flicked his tongue on her clit and this time, she was going to lose it. Even when he lightly patted her pussy she felt the storm coming and when he inserted his fingers in there along with his mouth on her pussy Ravishing her clit, she climaxed, her teeth gnashed together her body pulsed into a rigid ice that pulsated. Her eyes were blinded, stars maybe but she didn’t know because her brains also stilled. Her world stopped and the universe reminded her Harvey was the only man that conquered all odds with loving her. She could feel his that fingers hadn’t stopped and they were hasty but her body was shook by the waves of pleasure that when her body melted from the shock of the orgasm she still pulsated, her body trembled, she felt like there was a whole river of an orgasm and it kept pouring and pouring nonstop.

After he’d had his end she was strengthless and could barely keep her eyes open. Her joints felt like melted cheese. Her body felt like she had been sprinting for the right three hours.  He went into the bathroom to clean himself up before he ran the shower and carried her to the bathroom, washed his wife and put her to bed. 

He had done something like this before but this time it was astronomical because he was irrevocably in love with her. 

Can you believe I write this at work while trying to avoid looking aroused and serving customers with a smile or a straight face so I can conceal the image of how hot this story has been?  Well I have been busy. I hope you enjoy 

Sue me, I am a dreamer

Sue me, I am a dreamer 

My mind is always over my head

I am a fool fooled by the visions of a life presented in a silver goblet. 

All that happens on my head occurs before my eyes in the subliminal line between human sight and that of a dreamer 

Then I am constantly told; ‘dreamers die drowning in the depth of sadness’ due to my higher expectation 

What you are unbeknownst to is my courage and the strength that I carry on my shoulders, 

Since you are a bull that knows we’re its horns come from I assure you, my dreams will come true

So, sue me; I am a dreamer 

Without my dreams, I am a blind dog with no sense of smell – lost 

My hope and belief is breed through the weight of my golden glazed dreams, 

Up in the high chair of a queen watching the lights gleam my fortune, and that is a dream in live to be

So sue me, I am a dreamer

I dream to love and be love 

I have been told that is naivity, the dreams of girl that only knows nothing

Maybe that’s why I don’t feel anything for the small minded and why I will wait till he comes forth with his beauty and darkness 

So hey, sue me I am a dreamer 

I will continue to work till I am a moving ghost, what happens in my head is constructed by my will power and my heart, 

I dream you learn to dream because I could see it in your eyes, your ignorance is a defence mechanism surrounded by jealousy. 

So sue me I am a dreamer

And I dare you to laugh at me, show me your putrid teeth painted by the essence of your ugly soul so that when my dreams come true and I shine, you will be blinded and you will bow because you know nothing.

Sue me, I am a dreamer. 

Everytime ❤️

Everytime I look into your eyes, I feel like you handpicked me to suit your darkest insight, but you never really knew what I was like, you only witnesses a facade of what it’s like to love a woman like me. 

Everytime I am inside your arms, I feel like you handpicked me out of a million, only you didn’t know who I was like, I thought you will leave cause I tempted to leave, not because I hadn’t loved you yet, but because it didn’t feel right, because you only witness the smile I wear in day, and the lustrous mask I wear at night but then you reminded me, it wasn’t a facade it really was me.

Everytime I dance with you in the dark, I want you to be harder cause I am not so soft, Everytime you try to be kind I tell you I want you to be hard because I know love isn’t supposed to be easy, that’s why I don’t want you to be easy. 

Everytime I look into your eyes, I feel like you handpicked me effortlessly because I am transparent, you know I was the girl that suit your life, I love the sex you like and the fetish you love, I hate all the things that you hate, I laugh at same joke as you laugh to, I never cry because you hate to see me cry. 

Everytime I kiss you I feel like I will explode into a million diamonds because you make me shine brighter than the diamonds. 

Everytime you sleep I want you to know, you are my love and I belong to you. 

Everytime 

Choosing life

You are a barrier between life and life 

I don’t know what to choose cause you are still life 

But it’s different kinds of life 

I want that life as much as I want this life 

But i don’t know which one is good for me. 

Would you elucidate please

Show me the life you provide 

Gratitude and fear

There is something that people or the universe seems to forget or rather mistaken or perhaps only driven people with all kinds of expectations will only understand, but gratitude and fear sometimes comes together and one becomes dominant. 

I am at a point in my life where all my dreams have shuttered and don’t say I am still young, I can do it. I know I am still young and I know I can do it and I am greatful but at the same time, I feel like I will never be an actress that I want to be, my books don’t sell now, they will probably never sell because what’s going to change? I can’t be in love and I certainly feel like my downs are someone’s ups. Meaning since I seem to be back to square zero some people are going to be happy about this. 

Gratitude; I am grateful of what I have but I have a massive fear and the way my life has suddenly flipped upside down, I don’t see it changing. My biggest fear is I will never be happy. I am like a bag full of gold in the middle of nowhere. I fear I will not be an actress, I will end up doing some shit career that everyone told me to do because ‘I am black’ ‘it’s hard to get into’ it’s blah blah blah. I fear I will never find love, I fear I will never ever be happy. 

I am grateful I am multitalented, actress, singer, writer, artist, and more. I could thank God with all my life for such gifts, but what’s the point when no matter how much I work hard, none of it comes through? Now I should start think which shit job that I hate with a passion, that I despise and that I swore I will never do – I should do. 

See, gratitude and fear come in together. I am grateful of what I have, I hate where I am in my life right now and I am extremely, very very extremely fearful of the future because the unhappiness has started now. That’s why I haven’t been writing on this blog because what’s there to write? I am unhappy. I write when I am at least aware that my life has a direction but at the moment I hitting my head against the wall and I am angry and scared I will die alone, broke as fuck, doing a shit job, having hundred kids from hundred assholes who never even loved me. Living in a ramshackle shithouse, with a hundred fucking books starked in a drawer somewhere. 

And many many many people in my life will be extremely happy because I am a threat. My intelligence, charisma and talent are a big threat. 

Family 

Smiles and laughterJokes and tales

History and present

Hold hands and pray

Love and forget 

The past is the past

Read my lips and tell a story

Love me for I will be coerced to love you
Hate and betrayal

Sweets and candies

Christmas and trees

Presents and stones

Jealousy and pain

Happiness is the opposite of this family

Trust should be born in the family

Love should be taught in the family 
Praise and rejoice

Worship and congratulations 

Happiness and love

Homes and roofs 

Food and warmth

Family should be your first shoulder to cry on

Your ride or die

Your heaven on earth 

Your peace in the boisterous world

Your silence in the loudest cries

Family should be your universe
Tears and joy

Holding and hands

Touching and hugging

Passion and love

Looking and seeing

Showing and pointing

You should do everything together 

Support and motivate each other 

Advice each other. 

Yet 

All I see is family riding fire to defeat their other one

Breathing and screaming fire 

Burning oil and pouring it all over your dreams

Skinning you alive because of your intelligence and luck 

Who said you will all be the same 

A fool called no one

So don’t fool yourself.

You are my family. 

If you have ever wondered, my last name means an elephant 😉

Sight 

The beauty of a blind man is that he sees what he wants to see. 
He sees the darkness and the darkness doesn’t show him the havoc and chaos that the world has become. 

Dead beauty and alive ugliness. 

It shows him the beauty that the world has lost and therefore he has no pain. 

In which it’s his imagination that envisions such perfection.

The beauty we crave and that is art 

In his sightless life, he paints a picture ever so beautiful.

Yet we with sight, we fear the darkness for what it’s not. 

Sometimes I wish I was a blind woman maybe I would see a better world.